Surrounding yourself with the right people for you is amazingly impactful. Putting these pieces in place is not easy however. Starting with realizing those you’ve surrounded yourself with are not supporting you on your journey to the goals you’ve set for yourself. This step requires you know your ultimate goal of course or it won’t matter who you’re surrounded by, you’ve got no destination to be derailed from. If you do have this piece of the puzzle and are then able to honestly evaluate your personal inner circle, I hope you find people who you can share your dreams with and they’ll offer themselves to you in support of your pursuits. If that’s not what you find then you’ve got a difficult choice to make. Your dream or your relationship with this person. It sounds simple when jotted down on a screen and laid down so nice and neat but us humans are complicated creatures with feelings and emotions. We give some people infinite grace for not being a positive because we’ve been taught this from a young age. Not to exclude people. Play nice with others. Don’t be judgmental. The evaluation of the inner circle may feel like a violation of those principles, especially when you identify a candidate that needs to be removed. I say removed or replaced intentionally because, in my opinion, if they’re a negative addition, removing them will at the very least reset you to 0. 0 is better than negative. Once you’ve actually started this process what I have found is you’re now open and inviting to the addition of positive people into your circle and this openness acts like a magnet and you begin attracting positive people to you. Don’t wait for a new positive to remove an old negative. Reset at 0 and just have a roster spot open when the right person comes into your life and fulfills the requirements to be in your circle. How can you eventuate someone in your circle and determine if they’re a positive, negative, or neutral? Identify the 5 people you spend the most time with. Whatever the means are. Online, in person, text, etc., whoever they are these 5 are where you’re spending the only real currency that exists. Your time. Do they know your goal? Do they understand it’s importance to you? Do they encourage you? Not in everything though, you want someone who’s got your best interests at heart so they’ve got the ability to voice a concern if you were to say you were going to devote your life to painting dogs weaving baskets underwater. I’m sure there is a very specific scenario where doing that makes all the sense in the world but in the world I live in I would much rather have someone tell me to reconsider that path. Do they have anything to offer you that will help you achieve your goal? Do you have anything to offer them?

The ideal relationship you have with your inner circle would be mutually beneficial. It’s not about keeping score though. But it’s hard to make the math work in support of proving someone is supportive of you when they take more than they give. Keep in mind most people’s personal perspective of themselves is much different than almost everyone else’s and generally people view themselves as someone people should appreciate. It’s just human nature. The counter for this is the ability to communicate. Can you tell someone in your inner circle your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and have them be receptive to them in a constructive way and not take them as an attack on them? No one wants to be told they’re not good enough. If you give them the grace of sparring their feelings, you’re trading away your ability to advance towards your goal as effective and efficiently as possible. If you do these enough times you are going to find yourself with no progress or even backwards progress. You’re probably even going to be supportive of their goals and helpful in their advancement towards that goal. You’re definitely in their 5 but them being in yours has cost you your own progress. Can people in your current inner circle who meet none or maybe some of the attributes you’re looking for in your top 5 become someone who does meet the entry requirements? The tough but true answer is, probably not. This is all my opinion and it’s all up for debate and perspective. The moment you ask someone to feel a certain way, in this case feel more interest in being a positive contributor for your dream advancement, it loses its genuineness. It’s didn’t come naturally and organically so it’s always going to have an asterisk next to it. * I had to ask. The results may be exactly what you’re looking for though and that asterisk may quickly disappear. Maybe they just needed you to help them understand your goal so they could then develop that true positive supportive position.

It’s possible but, again just my opinion, when you’re passionate about something as big as a goal for your life, it’s pretty obvious if they were paying attention. How much dead weight are we carrying with us out of some outdated sense of loyalty? People change. You will change. Just because someone has been there a while, they shouldn’t have their roster spot guaranteed just because of that. These 5 roster spots should be highly coveted so treat them as such. Constantly evaluate those sitting in those roster spots are the best ones for the job. If a change or removal needs to be made, remember that this is about you living out your dream and your loyalty should be to your dream, not theirs. The position you’ll be in once you achieve your goals will be a much better one to then help others reach theirs. Blaze the path and you can then lead others down it.